My First Film (2024)

Direction: Zia Anger
Country: USA

In My First Film, filmmaker Zia Anger, known for her music videos for alternative singer/songwriter Mitski, ventures into meta-cinema by reflecting on the failure of her first feature attempt. The story starts off pleasurably introspective with an indie vibe, but gradually burns our patience with redundant scenes that go around in circles. At 100 minutes, it feels much longer, and for good reason—the narrative gradually loses its grip, spiraling into a disappointing, self-indulgent conclusion. 

While some experimentalism is welcomed, and Australian actress Odessa Young does the best she can, the film becomes so taken with itself, that we have no option but disconnect from it. Is this a personal diary, a therapeutic hallucination, a fictional whim, or a cry for help? Perhaps all of the above. And it’s not incoherence that drags the film down but rather its exhausting execution, which ultimately fails to make us care about the characters. 

Anger, who briefly appears in the movie to thank her actress (or herself), showcases boldness that could bear fruit in future projects. But for now, I’ll have to pass on these supposedly dovetailed ideas about artistic creation and gestation as sometimes sitting through this film feels like chewing on cardboard—bland and disengaging, with both joy and sorrow strangely out of reach.