Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person (2024)

Direction: Ariane Louis-Seize
Country: Canada 

Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person, the feature debut by Montreal-based filmmaker Ariane Louis-Seize, is a fine blend of dark vampirism, comedy, and coming-of-age storytelling that stems from her need to tame her own anxieties about death. The director, who collaborated with Christine Doyon on the script, found great success in the excellent performances of Sara Montpetit and Félix-Antoine Bénard.

Rising star Montpetit, whose skills had come to fore in Maria Chapdelaine (2021) and Falcon Lake (2022), plays Sasha, a sensitive young vampire who refuses to kill humans for sustenance, opting instead for blood bags carefully prepared by her parents. Her rejection of her nature and subsequent diagnosis with PTSD raises concern within the family, leading her to live with her cousin Denise (Noémie O'Farrell). While forcing herself to hunt, she bumps into Paul (Bénard), a depressive, bullied, and suicidal boy with whom she falls in love, shares similar dark inner struggles. 

Sharply edited by filmmaker Stéphane Lafleur (You’re Sleeping Nicole, 2014), the film, as dark as it is touching, is filled with surprising depth, sharp humor, and melancholy strangeness. The offbeat undertones suit the dichotomy between life and death as well as the non-conformist romance. This is a fable of elegant despair, an instant entry in the vampire canon that feels refreshingly gothic. Louis-Seize opts for a stable camerawork, while the gorgeously nocturnal cinematography by Shawn Pavlin fits hand in glove. The soundtrack is the cherry on top, and Montpetit’s powerful work dazzles and moves us. The vampire tale survives!

Hit Man (2024)

Direction: Richard Linklater
Country: USA 

Flirting with film noir and sly romance, Hit Man is the latest film by Richard Linklater (Boyhood, Before trilogy), who directs it with down-to-earth awareness from an insightful script he co-wrote with the leading actor, Glen Powell. The story, based on the 2001 Texas Monthly magazine article of the same name by Skip Hollandsworth, gracefully balances tension and mordant wit. 

Powell portrays Gary Johnson, a philosophy professor and tech nerd who works undercover for the New Orleans police as a fake contract killer. His task, carried out thoroughly, consists in closing deals with the ones who try to hire him and then arrest them. Everything runs smoothly until one day he breaks the protocol to help Madison Figueroa (Adria Arjona), a desperate woman trying to escape an abusive husband. Their instant chemistry leads them into a dangerous game with unpredictable outcomes.

Flowing with a comfortable pace, the narrative reminds you how bonds between people may change you unexpectedly and drastically. Linklater, showcasing his versatility and effortless cinematic approach, has taken a familiar premise and imbued it with a unique identity, a notion explored here in a darkly comic way. Despite its unequivocally amoral nature, I found myself cheering on the protagonists’ lawlessness.

Hit Man is breezily acted, consistently funny, often charming, and noir enough to provide a great time in the theater.

The Fall Guy (2024)

Direction: David Leitch
Country: USA 

Filmed in Sydney, Australia, The Fall Guy tells the fictional story of Colt Seavers (Ryan Gosling), an action stunt performer madly in love with Jody Moreno (Emily Blunt), a camera operator turned director. This unsung hero becomes the victim of a conspiracy headed by film star Tom Ryder (Aaron Taylor-Johnson), whom he doubles in all action scenes, and the cunning producer Gail Meyers (Hannah Waddingham). Suddenly, he realizes that it’s not just his career at risk, but his life. 

Loosely based on the 1980s television series of the same name, this self-indulgent action-packed rom-com works on steroids, overloaded by a variety of impossible acrobatics, falls, and explosions to the point of exhaustion. Drew Pearce’s script never comes together, and the unequal parts of comedy, romance, and action fail to coalesce. As a result, its excessive artifice quickly leads to tedium.

Director David Leitch, who boasts a 20-year career as a stuntman himself, previously exhibited a penchant for chaotic scenarios in Bullet Train (2022). Here, he fails to deliver a compelling satirical look at a major Hollywood production seen from behind the screen. With numerous redundant action scenes, flopped soundtrack choices, and sparse laughs, The Fall Guy feels as contrived and frivolous as the stunts it showcases, never deciding on whether to be a parody or an homage to the brave, always-invisible Hollywood stuntmen.

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024)

Direction: Wes Ball
Country: USA

This obscenely produced 10th installment in The Planet of the Apes franchise introduces a new hero having to endure trials to grow. Wes Ball, known for The Maze Runner trilogy, directed from a screenplay by Josh Friedman (War of the Worlds, 2005), and counted on Owen Teague, Kevin Durand, and Freya Allan in central roles.

While visually splendorous, showcasing grandiose empires built on ruins and impressive CGI scenes of attack and destruction, the film fails to deliver an inventive narrative and staging. This type of lavish fantasy is no more a cinematic provocation, generally falling short of excitement and occasionally resorting to sentimental bait. 

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes loses substance, relying on reheated formulas disguised as modernistic ideas throughout its quicksilver flow. With so many issues permeating the story, the kingdom of the apes sinks like the Titanic. Our response to the apes’ sad fate, once touched by authentic tragedy, is now marked by relief that this chapter is over.

The Last Stop in Yuma County (2024)

Direction: Francis Galluppi
Country: USA

An exciting feature debut by Francis Galluppi, The Last Stop in Yuma County is a revivalist neo-noir thriller reminiscent of the works of Alfred Hitchcock and The Coen Brothers. The film stars an ensemble cast led by Jim Cummings (Thunder Road, 2018; The Beta Test, 2021), who channels Norman Bates from Psycho as a knife salesman stranded at a remote Arizona diner next to a gas station, waiting for a fuel track to arrive. What should be a quick rest stop, becomes a nightmare when two dangerous bank robbers - portrayed by Richard Brake and Nicholas Logan - exactly in the same predicament, terrorize everyone around them.

Galluppi crafts the film in a classic style, creating a sense of isolated, alienated Americana. His confident direction weaves the elements into a crescendo, enhanced by a viciously torrid and claustrophobic atmosphere. However, the film ends on a somewhat contrived note. Utterly engaging until that point, this suspenseful tale of greed still guarantees a satisfying pay-off, offering a slick slice of solid entertainment in a constant state of tension. 

The Last Stop in Yuma County reminds us how gripping neo-noir thrillers can be when properly crafted, and Gallupi proves to be a bold young director to watch.

Monkey Man (2024)

Direction: Dev Patel
Country: USA / Canada / India

Dev Patel, the star of Slumdog Millionaire (2008), makes his directorial debut with Monkey Man, which he co-wrote with Paul Angunawela and John Collee. He also stars as the title character, a traumatized fighter seeking revenge for his mother's death. Jordan Peele, the director of Get Out (2017) and Nope (2022), is among the production credits, and the talented tabla player Zakir Hussein, known for his collaborations with jazz musicians, is part of the cast alongside Sharlto Copley, Vipin Sharma, and Sikandar Kher.

This neo-noir action thriller inevitably draws comparisons to John Wick and The Raid, but transports its violent rampages to India, encompassing themes such as poverty, caste injustices, discrimination of the Hijra community, cult of personality, and corruption. 

Behind the camera, Patel doesn't offer much originality beyond the specific cultural context. While the stunts are choreographed with wild athleticism, the relentless violence is exhausting, and the plot remains rudimentary. Watching this bloated and overlong film can feel as enjoyable as sitting on a cactus. 

There's unquestionably an audience here, and the film isn't completely terrible. It is just rather monotonous as the flimsy story fails to support the dramatic weight envisioned by its creators.

Lost Soulz (2024)

Direction: Katherine Propper
Country: USA

Lost Soulz, a low-key documentary-style road trip drama infused with hip-hop dreams, repressed guilt, and painful loss, marks the directorial debut of Austin-based filmmaker Katherine Propper. Featuring real-life Gen-Z dreamers, the film showcases ambition but struggles with narrative immaturity and editing issues.

Rapper and social media influencer Sauve Sidle portrays Sol, who leaves his unconscious, drug-addicted best friend behind to hit the road with a group of hip-hop musicians heading to West Texas. As expected, not everything goes smoothly, especially when emotional stability is fragile and drug use is involved.

Sol's guilt and inner conflict are not sufficiently emphasized, shifting the focus to the fun and minor tensions within the teenage group, resulting in repetitive scenes. Some characters are underdeveloped, while others stand out for their charisma. The movie’s final segment is the strongest, ending on a touching note.

You find yourself wanting to like what you see. Yet, Lost Soulz is more to be admired than enjoyed, with noticeable choppiness where fluidity was needed.

Shayda (2024)

Direction: Noora Niasari
Country: Australia

Noora Niasari's Shayda delves into a compelling drama that draws from the Iranian-Australian director's own childhood experiences. Executive produced by Cate Blanchett and featuring Zar Amir Ebrahimi - the protagonist of Holy Spider (2022) - as the title character, the film centers on a young Iranian mother fighting for custody of her six-year-old daughter (Selina Zahednia) in Australia after enduring years of domestic violence. Seeking refuge from the aggressor, Hossein (Osamah Sami), mother and daughter find shelter in a women’s refuge.

The topic is greater than the film, which, unfolding with honesty, exposes patriarchal issues in Iranian society with familiar tones while carrying a universal appeal. An unremitting sense of anxiety pervades the realistic scenes, constantly charmed by Ebrahimi’s strong presence. 

Shayda may feel a bit clunky in places but that can't stifle the sheer force of the emotion it evokes. Niasari's admirable feature debut serves as a tribute to her mother and all the courageous women of Iran.

Memory (2024)

Direction: Michel Franco
Country: USA

Mexican writer-director Michel Franco, whose body of work includes After Lucia (2012) and Chronic (2015), returns with Memory, a taut, beautifully composed drama where every moment holds weight. The film traces the journey of Sylvia (Jessica Chastain), a Brooklyn-based social worker, single mother, and recovering alcoholic, who discovers a sense of solace in her strained family dynamics through her relationship with Saul (Peter Sarsgaard), a stranger grappling with early onset dementia. However, things get complicated as they grow closer.

There’s a real emotional heft to Memory as it weaves together themes of trauma, resentment, guilt, hope, and healing. Chastain and Sarsgaard give life to understated yet memorable characters with their riveting performances.

Assuring that his fine narrative development leads to a positively simplistic resolution, Franco directs the film with both elemental allure and haunting familiarity. He skillfully shapes every aspect of this poignant exploration of healing love with an ultra-realistic vision and precise calibration, avoiding clichés or despair while maintaining authenticity.

Coma (2024)

Direction: Bertrand Bonello
Country: France

From the director of Nocturama (2016) and The Beast (2024), Bertrand Bonello, Coma is a challenging avant-garde drama with eerie tones and experimental flair. Matured and shot during the Covid lockdown, the film resulted as an expansion of a short film, aguishly exposing a world that is manifestly out of balance.

Louise Labèque, who previously collaborated with Bonello in Zombi Child (2019), portrays a teenager whose mind wanders while confined indoors. Her interest is piqued by Patricia Coma (Julia Faure), a YouTube influencer who advertises and sells a cubical object called The Revelator, leading her to experience hypnotic, if anxious, dream states. 

Coma isn't a film you can digest right away; it's a movie to enjoy or detest, at your leisure. While some may find it occasionally transfixing, others might struggle with its prolonged nightmarish limbo, which the film accurately portrays. It offers a radical reflection on isolation and the current state of the world, presented as an overstuffed pastiche with references to demons, possessions, psychopaths, serial killers, self-control, freewill, obscure dreams, and poignant realities.

While its major problem lies in the excess of disparate elements, scattered techniques, and tangled ideas, which oscillate between banality and provocation, Coma remains an open work of art with something to say about a very specific and significant time for humanity.

Evil Does Not Exist (2024)

Direction: Ryusuke Hamaguchi
Country: Japan 

Ryusuke Hamaguchi (Wheel of Fortune and Fantasy, 2021; Drive My Car, 2021), known for his ability to transform simple plots into impactful films, continues to impress with his latest work, Evil Does Not Exist, a sublime ecological fable marked by tragic personal consequences. What started as a collaborative audio/visual project with composer Eiko Ishibashi, became a relevant piece of narrative fiction about how threatened our ecosystems and existences are.

“Balance is the key”, claims Takumi, the protagonist of the film, portrayed by assistant director-turned-actor Hitoshi Omika. He is a single father and expert in trees and plants, living in a rural alpine region near Tokyo. When a shady company, discreditably represented by two talent agents, announces plans to build a glamping site in the area, Takumi and the local community raise concerns about environmental impacts.

Sculpted with vision and purpose, this uncommonly edited film warns us of the fragility of our planet as well as the greed plaguing our modern societies. The limpid and leisurely composed images are a pure treat for the eyes, exuding a heavenly sense of peace that contrasts with the imminence of danger. An impressive breadth of realistic investment doesn’t prepare you for the nearly surreal climax, in one of those finales that are not simply given but rather prompts reflection on both harmed natural environments and the volatility of human nature. 

There’s a lot to drawn from Hamaguchi’s directorial sensitivity given that it’s rare to see a drama that makes such subtle sense of its subject matter. True to his style, he solidifies his position as one of the greatest filmmakers of our times.

Civil War (2024)

Direction: Alex Garland
Country: USA 

In Alex Garland’s latest film, Civil War, a tale of courage unfolds against the backdrop of a dystopian landscape ravaged by chaos. Led by renowned war photojournalist Lee Smith (Kirsten Dunst), a small group of journalists, including Reuters reporter Joel (Wagner Moura), embarks on a perilous journey across a fractured country to interview the authoritarian US President in Washington, D.C., before the city falls to rebel forces. Accompanying Lee and Joel are veteran NY Times journalist Sammy (Stephen McKinley Henderson), considered too old for the mission, and aspiring photojournalist Jessie Cullen (Cailee Spaeny), who flagrantly tags along. 

The tense narrative predominantly draws from violence and human cruelty, yet it doesn't forsake humor, extracting it from unexpected situations. Little is explained about the motivations of the factions involved in the conflict, but there’s a stark warning about the consequences of extremism instead. While critical of war obsession and racism, the film emphasizes the neutrality of the journalists as they navigate the chaos with determination and addictive voyeurism.

Departing from his previous sci-fi works like Ex Machina (2014) and Annihilation (2018), Garland injects furious nihilism in his staggeringly realistic depiction of a near-future setting that, as it should, leaves audiences feeling exhausted and wrung-out. Flawless performances, including a notable appearance by Jesse Plemons as an ultranationalist militant, combined with a timely soundtrack featuring songs by Suicide and De La Soul, and a powerful score by Ben Salisbury and Geoff Barrow, contribute to the film's impact. Civil War is a stone-cold stunner that captivates from start to finish.

Challengers (2024)

Direction: Luca Guadagnino
Country: USA

Renowned Italian director Luca Guadagnino, whose work first came to the public’s attention with Call Me By Your Name (2017), probes a new hype style with calculated punchiness in his latest feature, Challengers, a meretricious and manipulative sports-meet-romance undertaking with a lackluster conclusion. 

Written by Justin Kuritzkes, making his screenwriting debut after gaining recognition as a playwright, Challengers stars Zendaya, Josh O’Connor, and Mike Faist in a tale of toxic relationships set against the backdrop of professional tennis. While emotional complexity, betrayal, rivalry, friendship, and sports pressure are intertwined in a non-linear narrative, the director struggles to overcome the challenges posed by this explosive mix. The tennis scenes are well-executed, but the love triangle feels like a mere curiosity, with insufficient dramatic motivation and coming across an oversexed triviality with soap opera traits. 

Additionally, the original score by Nine Inch Nails’ members Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross can be intrusive at times, and the finale, while intense, seems too fabricated. Ultimately, despite the promising setup, Challengers fails to fully capitalize on its potential. I don’t see it as a very grown up movie, and was craving for more clever twists in the plot. These charming threesome never hit the ball with enough ability to make it over the net.

Seagrass (2024)

Direction: Meredith Hama-Brown
Country: Canada

Seagrass, the directorial feature debut by Canadian actress Meredith Hama-Brown, is an uneven family drama centered on a decaying marital relationship exacerbated by recent loss. Rather than committing to a specific mood, the film explores various emotional territories, constantly obsessed with trauma both within both adult and youth realms. Hama-Brown also infuses a supernatural element in the story that fails to resonate.

In the wake of her mother’s death, Judith (Ally Maki), a Canadian of Japanese descent, and her husband Steve (Luke Roberts) seek marital therapy at a coastal retreat in British Columbia. Taking their two daughters - Stephanie (Nyha Huang Breitkreuz) and Emmy (Remy Marthaller) - with them, they still manage to find time to hang with regulars Pat (Chris Pang) and Carol (Sarah Gadon), who love to offer a bit of advice about everything. 

The doubts, confused feelings, and deep-seated disconnection that keep tormenting the lead character are valid, but Seagrass lacks groundbreaking originality, ultimately concluding on a disconsolately vague note after a powerful premise. Infrequently compelling, the film struggles with fabricated scenes and artificial musical moments, which only serve to heighten melodrama in a plot that simply doesn’t know where to go.

La Chimera (2024)

Direction: Alice Rohrwacher
Country: Italy

Alice Rohrwacher’s films, notably Happy as Lazaro (2018) and The Wonders (2014), captivated audiences with their intriguing narratives. La Chimera, her fourth feature, stands out as a haunting archeological fable set in Tuscany during the 1980s. Rather than relying on suspense, Rohrwacher favors ambiance, crafting a story that delves into a painful past, an inebriated present, and an uncertain future. 

The story revolves around Arthur (Josh O’Connor), a nearly-spectral English wanderer with a supernatural ability to locate Etruscan artifacts in tombs and underground chambers dating back over 2000 years. Recently released from jail for smuggling these artifacts, Arthur, reluctantly rejoins his gang of “tomb diggers” while awaiting the return of his departed love, Beniadina. He also reconnects with Benidiana’s welcoming mother, Flora (Isabella Rossellini), and gets involved with her Brazilian student/maid, Italia (Carol Duarte), a surreptitious mother of two. 

When at its sharpest, Rohrwacher’s script exudes lyricism in its bendable trajectory, casting a spell on viewers. However, the comedic elements are overshadowed by the emotional crisis of an unpredictable, alienated protagonist with a strong inclination for sloppiness. Love and death are squeezed into an eccentric cinematic pot that, in a sense, harkens back to classics from Pasolini, Scola, Fellini, and Cocteau. Some nostalgic moments are magical and profound in a film full of nudges and nuance. This is simultaneously a fascinating character study, a poignant drama edited with breaks of slapstick humor, and an acute piece of psychological realism that connects the living and the dead.

Even with some unnecessary lengths, La Chimera provides a singular experience in a kind-hearted fashion that allows the movie to resonate with more warmth than what was initially thought. O’Connor delivers an engrossing performance, complemented by Duarte and Rossellini, who are a pleasure to watch.

Inside the Yellow Cocoon Shell (2024)

Direction: Thien An Pham
Country: Vietnam

Inside the Yellow Cocoon Shell, the debut feature film by Vietnamese writer-director Thien An Pham, is a lethargically narrated drama with an abstruse title and extended duration. It takes some time to adjust to the director’s contemplative gaze, framed with a static camera and faintly stirred by spiritual consciousness and casual dialogue.

This journey of self-discovery follows Thien (Le Phong Vu), a Saigon-based man who returns to his rural Vietnamese village following the tragic death of his sister-in-law in a motorcycle accident. Assuming temporary guardianship of his 5-year-old nephew, Dao (Nguyen Thinh), Thien embarks on a solitary road trip in search of his estranged older brother, a former seminarian who abruptly abandoned his marriage. During this time, he also reconnects with Thao (Nguyen Thi Truc Quynh), a former flame who has since become a nun and teacher. 

While some viewers may desire a quicker pace and more dynamism in the process, the film's simplicity proves hypnotic, drawing parallels to the works of directors like Tsai Ming Liang, Apichatpong Weerasethakul, and Jia Zhang Ke. Pham skillfully navigates between dreamlike sequences and grounded realism, exploring the complexities of the human soul in all its conflicted feelings and persistent memories.

Ultimately exhausting, this pale tale releases tension with a conclusion that leaves us suspended in reflection. Inside the Yellow Cocoon Shell is a genre unto itself, demanding patience and introspection without veering into complete abstraction. Although strangely immersing, not everyone will be invested in the questions it poses.

Arcadian (2024)

Direction: Benjamin Brewer
Country: USA

In its second collaboration with actor and co-producer Nicolas Cage, director Benjamin Brewer (The Trust, 2016) brings us a post-apocalyptic horror tale set in a world overrun by lethal nightly creatures that frantically clap their jaws before massacre anyone in their path. Cage portrays Paul, a vigilant father of two teenage boys, the impulsive Thomas (Maxwell Jenkins) and the resourceful Joseph (Jaeden Martell), whom he instructs in defense techniques and survival strategies. When Thomas fails to return from the nearby Rose Farm before nightfall, panic ensues, and danger looms both inside their farmhouse and beyond its walls.

Arcadian rightfully earns its place among contemporary apocalyptic films, kept engagingly off-balance between horror tale, family drama, and teen romance. The special effects and characterization are awesome, but the tale risks running out of ideas at some point. However, it denotes a firm command of tone and decent visuals. The creepy, original monsters are a motivation and a mystery; Cage, who is revealed to have a special ability to return from the dead, discloses the bravest of the hearts; while the youthful energy and recklessness of the boys inject vitality into the story. 

The handheld camera work may be a minor drawback for some viewers, and opportunities for deeper exploration of character dynamics and the catastrophic events could have been better utilized. Nonetheless, Brewer's direction demonstrates unwavering commitment, resulting in what is arguably his strongest work to date.

The Settlers (2024)

Direction: Felipe Gálvez Haberle
Country: Chile / Argentina / other

Felipe Gálvez Haberle's directorial debut, The Settlers, delves into a dark chapter of Chilean history, chronicling a harrowing journey undertaken by three men from Tierra del Fuego to Argentina with the sinister aim of exterminating Indigenous peoples across the pampas. 

Set in 1901, the narrative revolves around Segundo Molina (Camilo Arancibia), a young mixed-blood tracker and skilled marksman, who joins forces with Alexander MacLennen (Mark Stanley), a ruthless English Lieutenant, and Bill (Benjamin Westfall), a prejudiced American mercenary. Both men are hired by Jose Menéndez (Alfredo Castro), a wealthy landowner who disposes the Indigenous people from their land to profit. Along their journey, they bump into a competitive Argentinean captain and a despicable Scottish colonel, carrying out their mission with tenacity. Interrupted by a seven-year gap, the two-part narrative culminates in the visit of Mr. Vicuña (Marcelo Alonso), an intellectual nationalist working for the Chilean president, to Menéndez, in the last corner of the Earth. 

Inspired by real characters, the film effectively captures the poignant brutality of the genocide perpetrated against the Selk'nam Indians in Chile. Its portrayal of a primitive environment tinged with political upheaval and savage acts evokes the spirit of classic westerns, here infused with shades of Herzog and Jodorowsky’s filmmaking styles.

Haberle keeps sentimentality away and doesn’t spare us to violence. The film’s heartrending conclusion may leave viewers feeling somber, with a sense of pure intoxication. Despite its bleak topic, The Settlers is elevated by its stunning location shots and the sharp cinematography of Simone D’Arcangelo, who previously showcased his talent in the exquisite The Tale of King Crab (2021).

Spaceman (2024)

Direction: Johan Renck
Country: USA

Adam Sandler takes on the role of a solitary Czech astronaut in Spaceman, tasked with a research mission to the edge of the solar system to investigate a mysterious interstellar cloud. As he spends six months isolated in his ship, he becomes increasingly anxious about the possibility of his pregnant wife, Lenka (Carey Mulligan), leaving him. Amidst this emotional turmoil, he encounters an intelligent ancestral creature—a giant space spider—that helps him confront his selfishness and grapple with feelings of loneliness, guilt, and regret. 

Based on Jaroslav Kalfar's novel Spaceman of Bohemia, the film adaptation, helmed by Chernobyl’s director Johan Renck and written by Colby Day, fails to delve beyond the obvious, offering a forgettable space journey masquerading as a couple’s therapy. Despite attempting to create impact with an ambiguous open ending, the film ultimately falls short, missing the mark on its potential for depth and exploration.

One of the film’s most dispiriting aspects is the mediocre character development and absence of tension. Neither shaping as a real sci-fi adventure nor grounding itself in a compelling romantic drama, Spaceman falls into a middling territory, promising more than it deliveries. Its slow narrative pace, coupled with verbose sequences that prioritize cerebral musings over genuine insight, results in a film that struggles to maintain logical coherence and foster empathy. It’s a half-interesting, half-baked illustration weighed down by a listless melancholy that sedates more than inspires.

Road House (2024)

Direction: Doug Liman
Country: USA

Directed by Doug Liman and starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Road House is a shabby, deeply predictable remake of the 1989 original film, which starred Patrick Swayze in the same role. The action is relocated to the Florida Keys, where Dalton (Gyllenhaal), a former UFC fighter with a troubled past and anger issues, is hired as a bouncer in a chaotic roadhouse plagued by violence.

The film begins with a stylized video game aesthetics and ends as an action-packed idiocy led by a protagonist with absolutely nothing valuable to say. Gyllenhaal already shown that he's better than this type of material, while Connor McGregor - our hero’s fiercest rival -  is simply ridiculous in a film that deteriorates by the minute. 

The plot, penned by Anthony Bagarozzi and Chuck Mondry, is painfully dull, riddled with ludicrous double-crosses and poorly executed action sequences that feel artificially enhanced by excessive CGI. Those flashy scenes involving boats are a blatant example. Hence, lacking creativity in the plotting mechanisms, the film seems determined to hit us over the head with acres of clichés. 

Road House is a monotonously by-the-numbers film where even the punches ring false. It's wiser to steer clear of this remake and seek out decent entertainment elsewhere.